creeping thyme

NaBloPoMo

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:31:00 +0000

Once I get into bed, almost nothing gets me out.

Even when Sawyer awakes with a cry, I try my best to convince Steve to get him (my rationale is that he can fall back asleep within seconds while it can take me hours). Last night, it was legitimately my turn, so I got up, led him back to bed and rubbed his back for a few minutes. He was quiet and seemed to be nearly asleep so I returned to bed. A few minutes later, he awoke again and started a cycle of coming to his gate, crying out, and returning to his bed. It seemed like the cycles were getting longer and he was clearly okay, so I decided to let him figure it out on his own rather than start the pattern all over again.

In the meantime, I was starting to fall asleep again when Steve's elbow crept into my space. I pushed it back and he took that as a sign that I was pushing him out to get Sawyer - in my groggy state, I wasn't able to tell him otherwise.

Okay, that was a bit of a long aside.

My original point was to show that I just don't get out of bed - not to pee (even when I was pregnant), not if I forgot to brush my teeth, not if I forgot to submit my timesheet, rarely even for Sawyer.

But this month, I have gotten out of bed after I've almost fallen asleep, not one, not two, but THREE times because I had forgotten to blog that day. Today was one of those days. We were watching friday public affairs on public television (I know, a riveting friday night activity) and I fell asleep on the couch before Steve pointed out I should go to bed.

As I was falling asleep, I suddenly realized I hadn't blogged, and that today was the last day of NaBloPoMO. For several minutes, I started writing a post in my head and then decided I had come too close to posting every day to miss it just b/c I didn't want to get out of bed. So I did, and here I am. 30 days, post every day. Let's see where i go next. Maybe I will actually post before 10pm one day!

fridge friday

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:27:00 +0000

This is a fridge friday post, sans pictures.

Today is the last Friday of November and the bottom shelf of our fridge contains the same cabbages, rutabagas, turnips, and beets that were there on the first Friday of November.

Perhaps my goal for this weekend will be to figure out how to use them up. Kim-chee, rutabaga fries, turnip soup, roasted veggies. I'm guessing the beets might be done for.

amish friendship bread

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 03:24:00 +0000

Today, a coworker gave me some starter mix for "Amish Friendship Bread" - each day for 10 days, you "mush" it together in a ziploc bag. On day 6, you add 1 cup milk, sugar, and flour, and on day 10, you divide into four more bags and give three to friends, keep one for yourself, and make 2 loaves of bread with the remainder.

Apparently, it is more like sour cream coffeecake than bread. One of the ingredients is "instant vanilla pudding mix" - not exactly a stereotypical amish item, I would think.

I'm looking forward to trying it.

books and movies

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:46:00 +0000

This week, I finished the books Plenty, Sammy's White House (by Al Gore's daughter), and Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls for my bookgroup. Next, I'm planning to read Food Politics.

Tonight, I watched the movie Cassanova.

Someday, I will blog before 11pm and actually have more to say about the things I read and watch. But that someday is not today.

a little democracy

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:34:00 +0000

Sawyer attended his first town meeting tonight. There was a meeting to conduct a straw poll about where a new elementary school should be placed.

It was held in the junior high gym and it was standing-room only - probably 1000 people.

For most of the time, Sawyer played in the lobby -pressing buttons on the water machines, counting doors, walking on the windowsill (6 inches from the floor). Finally, the presentations were over, the commenters were done yapping, and it was time to vote. I had convinced him to go into the Ergo, and we went into the gym. We had all (well, not the wee ones) been given day-glo index cards which would be counted. I told him I had to hold up the card to vote. At which point, he started pointing to other cards and saying "vote" "vote" "vote."

a orange... doon-doon?

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:37:00 +0000

Sawyer's birthday today. He had a great day. He gave me a recap when he was getting changed into his pjs this evening:

- blow candles!
- cake!
- pay-do Finn!
- Didney!
- fire truck!
- orange doon-doon!
- happy birtday to me!

translation:
- blow candles! (we had candles this morning, this afternoon on cake, and this evening at dinner - he is fascinated by them.)
- cake! (it turned out great - you'd never guess it was wheat-free, egg-free, although my frosting could use some work)
- pay-do Finn! (after our little party, we stopped by to deliver cake to Finn's older sister and were invited in to do some play-dough)
- Didney! (he adores her, even though she had a cold while visiting today)
- fire truck (he got a fire truck from Uncle Eric and Auntie Marie, as well as a little wood fire truck/ambulance/police car trio this morning)
- orange doon-doon (aka an orange balloon - we hung two green balloons from his doorframe and put balloons on all dining room chairs, and an orange balloon was just floating around
and he played with it quite a bit.

He also talked to grandma and grandpa on the phone and actually talked and sang to them (usually, he just stares at the phone and then gives it a kiss). They got him a very cute letter train that says "Sawyer" - he got to open it first thing this morning and played with it for a long time, forming different "words."

birthday preparations

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 02:17:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Sawyer's second birthday. I've been slightly fretting for the last week or so about how we would celebrate. Didn't want to do something too big but also didn't want to just have us. It turns out that his daycare will be closed tomorrow afternoon so he'll be home for the whole afternoon. Two of his friends from the neighborhood will come over for a birthday snack and opening presents - between the gifts from relatives and us, the table looks awfully full.

We've been reading books about birthdays for a few days now - it will be fun to see what he thinks.

Here's a picture of the table that will greet him in the morning (after he sees the two balloons hanging from his doorframe).

We'll let him open one present (from grandma) in the morning and then the rest in the afternoon.

I also decided to bake a cake. Last year, I made cupcakes because it had been so long since I attempted to bake anything more than banana bread. But I was slightly inspired this year. Since one of the kids has allergies to dairy, eggs, and nuts, I found a highly-recommended chocolate cake recipe and am currently bakingthat -I'll keep my fingers crossed to see how it comes out. It only took 10 minutes to mix in one bowl so that's definitely a plus.

A full report coming tomorrow...

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 03:51:00 +0000

Your Life is 64% Green

You live a very green life, and you're aware of how your actions help the earth.
Of course, it's hard to be totally green. But when you make a tradeoff, you know why you're making it.

How Green Is Your Life?

I'm thinking about joining Riot4Austerity to increase my "green-ness" in a way that is more substantial than a simple quiz.

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 03:50:00 +0000

Get a Cash Advance

santa and the fire truck

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 01:43:00 +0000

We went to Bath this afternoon to see Santa arrive by fire truck. I knew Santa probably wouldn't be much of an attraction but I figured the fire truck would be very cool. There was caroling on the library green where there is a large gazebo.

As the choir (or whomever the group of people wearing santa hats were) started singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" and we walked around the side of the gazebo. In those 30 seconds, we had already missed the event! The fire truck drove up into the parking lot as though it was a regular old chevy sedan, dropped off santa and drove off. I'm not sure Sawyer even saw it! He was one of the first to see Santa and it probably registered that he was dressed funny with a very white beard but not much more than that.

There was a parade of sorts down main street and everyone had jingle bells. Sawyer got to walk on the yellow centerline of the road and at the end, there were two police cars, complete with flashing lights, to block off traffic and instead of going inside to sit on santa's lap, we stood at the curb and looked at the police cars and watched the policeman. One opened the front door for Sawyer and for once in his life, he didn't ask to drive the car. Same policeman gave him a "trading card" with a picture and his contact information.

Not bad for a first attempt at xmas activities (both for us, and for Bath).

winter's coming

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 03:39:00 +0000

It's been a hard adjustment to the start of cold weather. We're used to going out after naptime and having at least a few other kids around (along with their parents). But now, most days (okay, basing this on a 3-day sample), everyone's inside.

We could stay inside too, but (a) I'm inside all day every day and I think Sawyer probably is more than I'd like as well, and (b) there aren't many activities inside for us to do.

It's probably more of an issue for the mornings when Sawyer is likely to start bouncing off the walls. But I realized this afternoon that he is probably old enough to do some baking with me (we made chocolate chip cookies) and he is starting to be more interested in drawing (last time we tried, he just ate the crayons).

so bright...

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 03:27:00 +0000

This afternoon, Sawyer and I went out to enjoy the sunny - although blustery - day. I finally took out my winter coat and was sitting on the porch finishing my tea, while he was scampering around the front yard, wearing his winter coat and mittens, along with Steve's hat (b/c I couldn't find his in the jumble that is currently our mudroom).

It was definitely a windy day and at one point, he looked up and said "eyes cold. need glasses".

It was a surprisingly insightful statement, since he has worn sunglasses for exactly 0.5 seconds before tearing them off his face. I wear them frequently when driving and often when out and about in town, so perhaps he thinks there is a connection.

(after a suprisingly great morning of shopping for pants that can be easily pulled-up/down for the supposedly forthcoming potty-training

thanksgiving

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:14:00 +0000

We had a lovely thanksgiving. Pretty quiet morning. I prepared cranberries (both regular and spicy NPR ) - Sawyer helped me wash them and when I let him try one he couldn't stop eating them - yep, raw! Steve prepped the green beans. We took a long walk (well, long by Sawyer standards - an hour with no complaining either!) in our woods, had a small lunch of mac-n-cheese, with herring and crackers. Sawyer took a long nap and so did I, while Steve did some work in the shop.

We had dinner with friends, which was a beautiful, huge spread and it was great to spend time with everyone. There were candles on the table and that was the biggest attraction for Sawyer (although the abundance of trucks on the floor between courses was a big draw too).

I almost forgot to blog today. I was just in bed reading my new book - Plenty - and I think I read something about time, looked at the clock, and realized it was 11:14 and I hadn't blogged!

It felt like a really long day, which was nice because I have three more - may they be just as long!

zen of fish

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 03:34:00 +0000

Last night, I finished reading Zen of Fish by Trevor Corson. It's a look inside sushi in america, from the perspective of students at a sushi academy, interspersed with information about the fish used in sushi, and the methods of preparation.

I'm not sure of the technical term for his style but it is one of the only non-fiction types that I can easily read - kind of like a really good Sunday magazine in-depth article.

A few things I learned:

- sashimi is just fish, no rice
- you aren't supposed to use chopsticks with nigiri (which is fish and rice)
- you are supposed to dip nigiri in the soy sauce fish first, not rice first (and if you are caucasian and visit Japan, you'll probably get rice tightly composed so it doesn't fall apart when you do put it in rice first)
- octopus have brains in each of their tentacles
- in Japan, wasabi is added to the rice in the right proportion for the fish being served. It's an american invention to add lots of wasabi to soy sauce and then drench the sushi in it.
- the popularity of tekka or toro (aka tuna) is also an american invention, introduced to Japan after world war 2. Traditionally, sushi incorporates lots of different fish prepared in many different ways. So it's not just the mercury or the overfishing that are reasons to seek out other types of sushi.
- if you want the chef to serve you what he or she thinks you will enjoy, you sit at the sushi bar and say omakase, which means as you wish.

Corson has a sushi blog (well, archive of past blog posts) and has another general blog called the Scrawling Claw.

american pie

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:18:00 +0000

For some reason, we have started to teach Sawyer how to sing American Pie. It must have been on the radio and I started singing the one verse that I know and he asked for it "again."

He picks up songs pretty quickly and will fill-in the blanks if we start the verse. A few times now, he has started the song ... "bye, bye..." At the moment, it goes something like this:

Me: Bye, Bye, Miss American
S: Pie
Me; Drove my
S: cheby to the leby
Me: but the
S: leby ... dry
Me: them goood old
S: boys ... wikey and rice
Me: singing this will be the day that I
S: bye.

I think if we are going to continue singing we might have to make new lyrics for the last phrase. Any suggestions?

you can't cheat!

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:14:00 +0000

Yesterday, after posting about how I had nothing to say, I realized I did have something to note. But I figured I'd write it yesterday, save it as a draft and then post it today! voila! But blogger knows better, I guess. Because when I tried to do that, it posted as yesterday. Oh well. But I now see if I had clicked on Post Options, I maybe (??) could have changed the post date and time.

I think I have sunk to a new low in blogging.

a little hand part two

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:38:00 +0000

Of course, Steve thought he'd be coming back to our bed, so he left the gate in Sawyer's room unlocked. Next thing I know, I've got a little hand saying "mama" - he climbed up into bed and I groggily woke up enough to look at a book with him. At this point, I thought Steve had already gotten up and was downstairs.

The book had a picture of an apple.

Sawyer: apple, please.
Me: no apples here.
Sawyer: apple, please.
Me: look here's a green parrot.
Sawyer; apple, please.
Me: okay, go get an apple.

Sawyer gets down from bed and toddles off, I assume to go see Steve and ask for an apple (or at least get distracted by a truck and let me go back to sleep). I roll over and close my eyes.

After a few minutes, I hear Sawyer coming back up the stairs, making a slight thumping noise. He toddles in and thrusts several bananas up onto the bed. That's when I realized Steve probably wasn't downstairs.

He climbed up, I peeled a banana, and we finished looking at the rest of the book.

a little hand

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:31:00 +0000

Sawyer has been out of his crib for about two weeks now. At first, we just put the crib mattress on the floor, but he has always been such an active sleeper (it wasn't uncommon to hear a clunk or a thunk when he rolled around and kicked the crib) that he kept rolling and/or scooting off the mattress. We had some yoga pillows surrounding the mattress but that didn't seem to help.

At least twice, I have checked on him and found him fast asleep in the middle of the floor. Luckily, I was able to pick him up and put him back in bed but I don't think he always stayed there. And Steve says while I was gone, Sawyer woke up frequently.

On Saturday night, we switched the crib mattress for a futon, thinking that perhaps a larger surface area would give him more rolling room without necessarily waking him up. That night, he woke up twice before midnight (not a good sign). The first time he went back to sleep on his own. The second time (or was the third time?) Steve went in to comfort him. Apparently, the larger surface area also allows Steve more rolling room b/c he fell asleep there too.

Next thing he knows, it's morning and a little hand is reaching for his hand with an "oohhh! it's dada".

Hopefully, that's the memory he'll keep about his new bed.

blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 03:22:00 +0000

The problem with blogging is that I spend half the day contemplating a particular topic that I want to blog about...writing sentences in my head, figuring out what I really mean.

But by the time I have enough time to write, it is 10:23 and all I want to do is sleep.

A friend of a coworker is doing NaNoMo (national novel writing month) and he works at a place where he does three hours of "real work" and spends two hours writing his novel. I'd say I want to work somewhere like that but I've been there (however briefly) and I know myself well enough to know it might be good for the month of November but not for much longer.

And since I don't have the time, you are left with the remnants of my day. I suppose this is a common phenomenon, but at least some bloggers, like Lanker Loksh, can come up with an amusing anecdote to make us laugh. The highlight of my day was spending over an hour reconciling my expense report with my credit card.

deadwood

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:49:00 +0000

Speaking of things that Steve likes that I don't prefer ...

We relatively frequently watch netflix movies with our neighbors and friends Mike and Wendy. Recently, we watched one episode of Rome, the HBO series about life during the reign of Caesar and Co. They suggested that we might also like Deadwood, because it was done by the same producers.

It should have been a clue that Rome was rather violent with a fairly complex storyline (they kept stopping to explain who was who, what the backstory was, and why it was relevant), not to mention that it was hard to tell the characters apart.

But I agreed to try Deadwood. Steve loved it. I hated it and surfed thru the second episode. But Steve wants to watch them all. So we increased our netflix from 2 to 3 movies so we could at least watch something else. I had hoped he would do a marathon watching while I was gone but the veteran's day postal holiday kind of made it difficult.

I have occasionally watched it (or rather sat on the couch surfing while Steve watches) and continue to hate it. Part of it is because it's a western and I very rarely like shows of that genre. Part of it is because most of the characters have a rather staged and stilted manner of talking, mostly sprinkled with every third word of "f-ing" something. It's also violent in a pretty graphic way. Last night's episode involved a complicated backcountry surgery to rid someone of gallstones. I think I prefer the clean sanitized version of ER. It made me almost sick just to listen to it.

Steve is watching again now so I'm headed upstairs to read in bed.

summer people

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:37:00 +0000

Just finished reading Summer People by Brian Groh. It's a first novel that got pretty good reviews in the Portland Press Herald. It took me a while to finish it and I'm not sure I'd recommend it. The basic plot definitely fits the category of "beach read" and the cover art with a lake and a close-up of long female legs complete with flip-flops hanging over the side of a boat confirms that.

What is interesting is that most of the story is told from the perspective of a guy. It's basically a story of teenage (really early twenties) angst - who am I? what do I want to do? who do I love? - with plenty of drinking and some sex thrown in. I'm not sure if I found it a difficult story to absorb because it wasn't an engaging story, or because I read it in fits and starts over the past few weeks, or if it was because the main character was male. There were some good plot lines about the differences between growing up in Cleveland and summering in coastal Maine.

Each chapter started with a few phrases that provided an overview of what would happen. From Chapter Eleven: "Nathan confesses his plans - A chilling cry - Paramedics provided succor and shame - Night at the hospital - Eldwin draws a circle." I felt a bit like I was reading sidenotes to a play. Not sure it's a technique that I like.

A intriguing aside is that Steve (of the Tolkien, Robert Jordan, Ursula LeGuin books) said he thought it looked like an interesting book. I can count on one hand the number of times that he has shown any interest in a fiction book that I'm reading. I didn't ask him whether that was based on the cover art, the storyline, or the fact that the

birthday expectations

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 03:04:00 +0000

Sawyer's birthday is in a little over a week. Two of his friends (or perhaps more accurately, children of two of our friends) had birthdays this past week. Yesterday, I was telling Sawyer that it had been Caleb's birthday and Bertie's birthday and that they had a celebration and had cake and ice cream and presents and that it would soon be his birthday.

Me: What do you want for your birthday?
Sawyer: cake
Me: Do you want anything else for your birthday? Maybe a fire truck?
Sawyer: nope
Me: school bus? (now, naming his favorite things, hoping to elicit an "aye" which is yes in sawyer-speak)
Sawyer: nope
Me: the moon?
Sawyer: nope
Me: drive car?
Sawyer: nope
Me: cake?
Sawyer: aye!

Guess we don't need to worry so much about what to get him - and since the only birthday book I could find at the library today was The Birthday Box (which he has asked for at least 3 times since then) - I'm thinking he'll like our gifts just fine (not that we have decided yet).

please

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 02:56:00 +0000

In the last month or so, Sawyer has gotten remarkably more polite. It used to be that he requested another serving with "mooorre!" (with a slightly morose, mostly loud demanding tone). With some practice, he now says "more please" usually quietly but also slightly breathlessly as soon as the first bite of food has entered his mouth. You'd think he was the youngest of five children trying to make sure he'll get enough.

a conversation from today:

sawyer: cracker please (this is while Steve was in the midst of washing dishes)
steve: here you go, can you say thank you?
sawyer: thank you please

free rice

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:29:00 +0000

"what if knowing what a word meant could help feed hungry people around the world? at free rice it does "(thanks to the washington post for this lead)

This is totally addictive. may distract you from your regularly scheduled life.

You know you want to click on it....

For each word I get right, 10 grains of rice are donated through the United Nations to end world hunger. You are probably thinking, uh, yeah, joy, do you know how many grains of rice you had for dinner? well, my grains were added to 201,225,290 other grains - and that's just today!

Take a look and let me know your score.

a birth story,... almost two years later

noreply@blogger.com (Joy) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 01:37:00 +0000

It was the first time I listened to Garrison Keillor in several months (*this post is being written two years after the fact via memory - which is probably hazy on some details - I have a handwritten journal somewhere but I can't bring myself to find it. I should also give thanks to greenstylemom for hosting a birth story carnival and finally inspiring me to put this to paper).

Morning after Thanksgiving, 2005, first day of my vacation, one week before my due date. And I had PLANS for that week - I knew too many people who had early babies recently so I wasn't really expecting to get more than a week but at least a few days. Lots of stuff to do, get the house clean, maybe do some unpacking from the garage, do some christmas shopping with my friend Wendy, freeze a bunch of meals, pick out some birth announcements, make the birthing center dinner, make the birthing cds, etc. etc.

So it was 9am, I had slept in and was listening to the daily author note/poem when I suddenly felt a wetness. First thought - Did I just pee myself? Oh, that's weird. Oh, wait, that's not pee! I jump out of bed, call (in a slightly panicked voice) to Steve and come down the stairs. He meets me with a concerned look and I tell him my water broke. He says "yah, that's great, we're going to have a baby!". I say, nooo, I'm not ready. He says, "well, it's a bit late for that."

We call the midwife, she tells us that contractions will probably start in an hour or two and that I should just have a quiet morning and she'd talk to us in a few hours. I think I spent a good portion of the morning making mix CDs of "music to birth by." We had only moved into our house three weeks earlier and most of our furniture was still in storage - just one small card table in the kitchen and our small couch in the living room (plus bed upstairs). Construction was still going on - some on the inside, some on the outside with shingling. I don't remember if there was work scheduled on that Friday or not. I seem to remember that Steve asked Rob the carpenter to either work outside or not work on that day once my water broke.

A bit about my birthplace .... I had chosen an independent birthing center, at the suggestion of the nurse practioner I had been seeing. It seemed like a good idea, since I had been in a hospital exactly twice, both times to visit Steve's parents when they were dying. We did tour the birth wing at one local hospital and found it underwhelming, compared to the experience that seemed to be offered at the birth center. There were two midwives that shared a practice to support births at this center. I saw them alternately throughout my pregnancy. There were also birth classes as well as breastfeeding and other classes.

So, with that background, I don't remember the afternoon but in the evening, when nothing had yet happened, we checked in with the midwife, decided to go see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. We had tried to see it on the previous afternoon (movies on holidays are a tradition in my family) but one mile from our house, the subaru was already slipping in the 1/2 inch of unplowed snow/rain, so we turned around and returned home. Later that day, we joined Wendy and kids for a thanksgiving dinner. I made cranberries and a fruit punch with pineapple, ginger ale, and tonic water. I later learned that tonic water contains quinine, which is also classified as a class-c drug for pregnant women. While it seems unlikely that it could actually induce labor, it always made me wonder. After the movie, we went to Shaw's and bought some rather random food that I thought I might want, filled the prescription for Ambien because the midwife thought I should take it to be sure to get a good night's sleep. I'm uncertain whether I actually took it that night.

Slept fine that night. When nothing had happened the next morning, we went in to check-in with the midwife. She did a VERY quick manual check (later learned it was because of concern of introducing infection) and checked the baby's signs. Everything looked good. She didn't seem particularly concerned that it was already 24 hours past my water breaking (the typical point at which interventions would start in a hospital-supervised birth). She sent us on our way, suggesting that we stick around the area rather than drive back up to Brunswick, and gave us some suggestions about how to kick-start things (I don't remember what they were - except for one - coming up later). We did some errands, including some rug shopping. I remember thinking that it was very surreal to be shopping for rugs and carpet options while knowing that we would have a baby within just a short time.

By this time, I was having occasional cramps but they were sporadic, could barely be timed and felt like menstrual cramps. We had take-out Indian food that evening and I'm not sure how we spent the rest of the evening (making more CDs? watching TV - did we have the TV yet? reading a book?).

I do know we took a walk in the dark before dinner around the neighborhood and we ran into Mike and Finn taking a walk. Finn was singing "twinkle, twinkle, little star" (he was almost exactly the same age that Sawyer is now, and Sawyer also sings it frequently). We hadn't told anyone in the neighborhood that my labor had started because I didn't want the attention especially since we didn't know when it would actually start. I especially didn't want to say anything to Mike b/c I knew, as an ER doctor and husband to someone who had one high-risk birth, he was very skeptical of our choice to go to a birthing center, even one affiliated with a hospital and just as close as going from one floor to another within a typical large hospital. Steve wasn't able to keep it a secret, however, and Mike was appropriately concerned - although to his credit, he was very discreet about his concern - at least to me. I'll have to ask Steve if they had a conversation about it.

Went to bed. Woke up at about 3:30 with the idea to do some yoga. During much of the last few months of my pregnancy, I frequently woke up wide awake at 4:30 or so (a completely new experience for someone who was typically groggy at 7:30, waking slowly to NPR). I went downstairs, set up a little nest in the corner and put on my yoga cd. Did that for about an hour, without noticing too much difference. I sat on the birth ball and listened to the music and did some breathing. This waiting wasn't really something I had expected. By about 5, I woke up Steve and we sat together. I realized that I felt like I didn't want to make progress until I was closer to the birthing center. We called the midwife (should clarify that "call" meant "page" and she called us) and she asked if we could wait a few hours until the contractions were more significant. I think I said I wasn't sure. She told us to meet her at Ballard House at about 9am.

So we got ready and drove down (I realize there are four hours between the call and the meet-up - not sure how those early-morning hours were passed, maybe making mix cds?), sitting on a pillow to reduce the effect of contractions which were coming ocassionally. Contractions! ha - that should really be in quotes. No wonder the midwife wanted me to wait!

She did a quick check and was going to suggest that we go out to take a walk on Cape Elizabeth but I just couldn't gather the motivation. It was a beautiful, sunny, and somewhat warm Sunday. It would have been a nice day for a walk but I was perfectly happy in the nice comfy birth suite.

My expectations for what would happen at this point were pretty different from what actually happened. I think I wanted to be at the birthing center because I thought the midwife would help me figure out what to do next. But instead, she mostly left Steve and I to myself. She checked in with us occasionally but she never offered much guidance. When you read fiction, the midwife is actively involved in the process, providing ideas about postures to try or things to think about. Of course, I suppose it was questionable how far along I was, but I remember feeling that this wasn't what I expected. My contractions had definitely increased but were still pretty small. We tried the ball but that was very painful so I was mostly laying on the bed in a curled-up fetal position. Not really in pain exactly but in discomfort. There were two midwives in the practice and I had a preference for which one I wanted to attend my birth b/c from my appointments, I always felt more comfortable with her. But it was the other midwife on call that weekend. I should read more birthing stories to know whether my experience was unusual or whether that support is only provided by a doula.

At about noon, I finally asked if I could try the birthing pool. The nurse (there already b/c she had taken care of a baby at an earlier birth that day and decided to stay) started the water. The midwife asked again if I wanted to try the ... enema ... (there I said it). She had repeatedly suggested this since our first visit after my water broke, and every time, I had the same shirking, horrified reaction. We were supposed to have done it at home but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. At this point, I asked for a detailed explanation of what it was, and what would happen. When she explained it, I realized that it was very different from what I thought - i had been picturing what I guess is a colon-cleanse. By comparison, an enema suddenly seemed doable, especially if it meant things would get started. The midwife was saying, although she didn't want to pressure me, that if things weren't moving by about 4pm, we would probably need to take a walk across the street (e.g. admit to the hospital). Soo.... I said I'd do it. Steve helped me with it, and WOW, yep, that did the trick. No need to get in the pool now. I went from stage 1 to stage 3 in about 20 minutes (or quiet labor to really active labor - you can see I'm doing this from memory b/c I don't remember the actual terms).

At this point, we finally used a mix cd. Actually, though, it wasn't even a mix - just a enya cd. Although the midwife and nurse were trying to get me to move around the room, I again wanted just to lay on my side. When I suddenly wanted to push, they started to guide me through it. I remember feeling very nervous at this point. I think this part was about 15 minutes of active pushing. It felt like it lasted forever and I can't imagine a typical two-hours of pushing. Steve was prepped to catch but when Sawyer actually came out, there were four other hands b/c he came so quickly. I remember not quite realizing that it had happened when suddenly this small, slightly purple, wet being is on my chest. There's a picture of me at this point looking down at him with a look on my face that clearly says "wait, how did THIS get here?"

I brought him to my breast and that, at least, seemed completely natural as he nuzzled against me. We went thru the after-birth activities (placenta, checking height/weight, trying to breastfeed, meeting the "discharge" criteria (eating, drinking, walking, peeing), snuggling, taking some pictures that I still adore, and maybe a little nap (is that possible?). During this time, our nurse was awesome. Just the best. I think the midwife left shortly after the birth actually happened (and come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw her again b/c the other midwife did my check-ups).

The actual act of trying to breastfeed was definitely more complicated than the initial nuzzling. It felt kind of natural and kind of like a brand-new skill that I had to learn really fast. But there weren't any issues and we were cleared to go home. We packed up him in several layers and drove home (again, me on pillow). We were home by about 6pm. Wendy, a very thoughtful neighbor (and wife to Mike mentioned above) had delivered a little gingerbread family (complete with icing for Joy, Steve, Sawyer) and a bowl of the most amazing spaghetti which we devoured. (I later learned the secret ingredient was ketchup. It now tops our list of comfort food.)

Sooo... that's the story for Sawyer Jensen Prescott, born November 27, 2005. Funny how the actual birth only took 10 lines to describe but this was a really long post. Overall, it was a good, relatively straightforward experience. Although my midwife wasn't warm and fuzzy, she did have the experience to know what was needed and probably kept us out of the hospital and possible interventions. I was glad I chose a birthing center although I'm not certain whether I would do it again - granted the midwives are different now but I wonder whether a hospital closer to home would be better. We'll see, I guess.

And now he's almost two!